I whine and complain a lot. So much, that I’ve officially gotten tired of myself.
Most recently, my whining and complaining was due to the fact that I want to finally live life on my own terms, but no one will support me, and I don’t have enough energy, and blah, blah, blah, commence excuses and whining.
Two weeks ago, I found out that I’ll be laid off in September, unless I apply for a position in my department’s redesign and get selected. I had two thoughts about this:
Yay! I have a good reason to get out of this job.
and,
Crap, I still need to make money.
After listening to a string of Gary Vaynerchuk podcast episodes and getting all pumped, I decided that this was my chance to put up or shut up. To give my all and try to build the life I want to live.
I know what I want to do, and I think I know how to do it.
I’ve been living the majority of my life based on what I think my loved ones want, and what will impress people. I’m a ball of anxiety and resentment. I’m also a grown ass adult. Nobody is forcing me to make these decisions; it’s all on me now.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to apply to a position in the redesign, but all the upheaval made me realize that what I’m saying all the time is not lining up with my actions, and that’s not okay with me.
The self-improvement isn’t happening all at once. Some days I write 1,500 words of my novel, post on Instagram, and draft a blog post. Other days I watch YouTube videos, eat as much sugar as I can, and feel sorry for myself. Most days I make several good choices and a couple of bad ones. The overall trend has been less complaining and more doing stuff.
K. J. Cole 