So, that thing I stopped writing to focus on? A job interview.
I didn’t get the job. I’m sad. The interview went well, I thought I would get it.
However, I’m not as upset as I thought I would be. I had so much anxiety about the job, it’s just nice to get an answer either way so I can chill out.
This job opportunity was important to me, because it seemed like a perfect fit. I’ve been in a position two years now that I’d like to get out of, for several reasons. Once I finally get out I’ll elaborate more. Basically, I have no room to grow professionally, and as someone who loves new challenges and learning, this sucks.
I want to write about rejection today. We all experience it, the vast majority of writers who traditionally publish are very familiar with it. It’s horrible and it leaves you questioning your worth. While I was freaking out, preparing for my interview, I wrote this in my diary:
“No one can define my worth, put a stamp on my forehead “worthy” or “unworthy”. Everyone who will ever form an opinion about me is tragically flawed themselves, the same as me.
It’s not a matter of being worthy, or being better than anyone else. I simply exist, with good intentions.”
I missed writing. I missed my novel. My poor, neglected novel. Writing gives me a sense of peace and fulfillment that nothing else does, and I needed that in my life last week. I found myself too full of anxiety for creative writing, but next time I’m that stressed out, I think I should just sit down and force myself to try.
If you’re facing rejection in your life right now, I send you a virtual hug.
In times like these it’s good to pour yourself into things you can control – your hobbies, things that bring you joy that no one can stop you from doing, things that no one tell you you’re not good enough for. For me, that’s writing and making stuff.
I’ll end this post with a simple message, for myself and for anyone out there struggling.
It’s going to be okay.